adventures in childcare ADVENTURES IN CHILDCARE adventures in childcare

Going back to go forward

For generations, the elders of a community, wise and adept at communicating important life-lessons, were the ideal teachers for the members of a clan or family. Combining knowledge and first-hand experience with myth and philosophy, they then devised profound ways to impart this invaluable information upon the youth. These methods of instructing and strengthening the minds of young people has worked extremely well. But these invaluable stories, lessons and anecdotes are quickly being lost and distorted amidst the fast-paced, self-important lifestyle that people on every continent now subscribe to.
I am not an elder. I have been actively involved in many children's lives and I am acutely aware of the need to bring new methods of teaching into our children's lives. Our children need to be given a maleable template of how to cultivate a positive relationship with themselves. That template requires the active involvement of inspired and unrelenting parents, foster-parents and grandparents. I am a person with faults and short-comings just like everyone else. I am also an inspired parent who wants to see the children we bring into this world be given the tools to make this world a better place to live for ALL the inhabitants of this jewel we call the Earth.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

SMARTER THAN YOU

This is the first thing you should know about your children: They ARE smarter than you. Mostly in ways that you may not recognize. If you often find yourself at the mercy of your child's will, they've got you. They've got you figured and they've also got the tools to sustain the control they have over you. A child doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about the various ways they can exert control, but they do attempt to get what they want by using different tactics. And whether they find a tantrum that works, a plea that's successful, or that guilt reaps great rewards, children will repeat the behaviour and augment it to fit a specific need. Don't doubt that your child's got you figured out - until you become wise in the same way. Figure your child out so that they get what they need, not what they want.
Most children don't even know why they want something. They are slaves to feelings and emotions, as we can be also. But adults have years full of triumphs and gritty mistakes to account for and lots of time to ponder and assess the results. Jimmy may want candy, a hug, a toy, to not brush his teeth, to watch one more movie, or your attention. But do you give Jimmy a toy because Sam has the same one? Or do you talk to Jimmy, explain the benefits of waiting, or choosing a different toy that might be a little more in line with what you'd prefer Jimmy to have. Know what Jimmy needs and you'll find a way to show Jimmy why he'd be happy with what he needs, not what he wants.

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