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Ever tried to get a child to share something when they clearly do not want to? Nope, it's not easy: "I had it first!"; "I just want to do something with it"; "She didn't want it"; "But it has to stay on the castle"; "No!". There's lots of good kid-reasons for not sharing and it's one fight that's hard for you to win. If you force Jessica to give Kelly the Bratz doll, you risk being on the receiving end of Jessica's wrath. But if you can't find a way to get Kelly that doll (that she deserves), Kelly may begin to plot villainous consequences for Jessica. Kelly may also begin to see the power Jessica has over you and begin using the same tactics; double trouble.
To alleviate a disagreement between children, knowing each child's personality is paramount. You also need a reasonable understanding of the circumstances. Without a clear picture you're better off letting the kids sort it out themselves. If you do know the situation, there's a way to make both Jessica and Kelly happy - most of the time. It's called diversion.
You can distract Jessica with a different toy. You could distract Kelly with a different toy, or you distract them both with something completely different. You may even have to force them both to clean up and play somewhere else. Ideally, you give them a common enemy or goal. You can become a "monster" who wants to chase them. You could tell the girls that it's time to play a card game, or read a favorite book. Or maybe it's the perfect time to go for a long walk.
It is not, however, the perfect time to go shopping with them ;)
Going back to go forward
For generations, the elders of a community, wise and adept at communicating important life-lessons, were the ideal teachers for the members of a clan or family. Combining knowledge and first-hand experience with myth and philosophy, they then devised profound ways to impart this invaluable information upon the youth. These methods of instructing and strengthening the minds of young people has worked extremely well. But these invaluable stories, lessons and anecdotes are quickly being lost and distorted amidst the fast-paced, self-important lifestyle that people on every continent now subscribe to.
I am not an elder. I have been actively involved in many children's lives and I am acutely aware of the need to bring new methods of teaching into our children's lives. Our children need to be given a maleable template of how to cultivate a positive relationship with themselves. That template requires the active involvement of inspired and unrelenting parents, foster-parents and grandparents. I am a person with faults and short-comings just like everyone else. I am also an inspired parent who wants to see the children we bring into this world be given the tools to make this world a better place to live for ALL the inhabitants of this jewel we call the Earth.
I am not an elder. I have been actively involved in many children's lives and I am acutely aware of the need to bring new methods of teaching into our children's lives. Our children need to be given a maleable template of how to cultivate a positive relationship with themselves. That template requires the active involvement of inspired and unrelenting parents, foster-parents and grandparents. I am a person with faults and short-comings just like everyone else. I am also an inspired parent who wants to see the children we bring into this world be given the tools to make this world a better place to live for ALL the inhabitants of this jewel we call the Earth.
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